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Sunday, August 24, 2008

These are the days of miracles and wonders

Dear 1600,
Today I traveled 40 miles on a contraption called a bicycle. I traveled at an average of 17 miles an hour and traveled a circuit of 10+ villages in town in far less than a day. This bicycle was fabricated in China (what you would call "The Orient")

The reason for this is because I wanted to keep my health up. I am 41 years old, and lived only half of my life expectancy! I'm sorry, but your people would be very old or dead by now.

Did you know I have all of my original teeth?

teeth

While I was traveling through the hamlets of my city, I stopped at two markets. I know you are becoming familiar with the concept of trade. So at the market, I bought a bread from the country of Brazil. How, you may wonder, can I eat a bread from thousands of miles away and still have it be fresh? Easy. it is "instant" meaning that it is in a powdered form that only needs water and gets to produce a dough to be baked fresh.

At another market in another town 20 miles from the previous one. I purchased pancakes in a can. "What madness is this?" You will certainly ask. But let me tell you. In a world of suffering and pain, where poverty and war still exist. You can go to the market and purchase pancakes that can be made instantly. This, I tell you, will be the salvation of our world. Batter Blasters!

Both of these purchases were paid for with invisible gold, yet know Gods or Demons were involved. Many of us here in the 2000s have a stash of invisible, intangible gold. Its a system based on trust. We work for someone called "The Man"and he rewards us for our labor with invisible gold which we trust resides in caves scattered throughout the world. Then we can transfer the invisible gold from our caves to the caves of the merchants.

The big score

Then I put it in my pockets and cycled back home.

I only problem I have, 1600, is finishing this missive. Let me just say that these words are written by light and actually don't exist anywhere in the solid world. POW!

Comments:
You just blew my ancestor's minds.

Collectively.
 
Exactly. At a universal time scale, 1600 and 2008 are happening simultaneously.

In your face 1600!
 
pancake in a can, i love it!
 
w still i donno if you speak truth, but soubds you listened to your Mother!?
 
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