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Saturday, March 24, 2007

Weak Bleat from the MediaSphere

By now, you should know that me, Cap'n Marrrrk is Hypermediated. Sometimes I feel like Mr. Universe in the movie Serenity, but that's just a character, and it's totally impossible to know then entire MediaSphere.

Case in point, last night, Friday Night...I was working on some freelance that finally came my way, Ale was knitting, and we had the tube on as background. VH1 was showing "The 40 Biggest Internet Superstars of All Time." It kind of weirded me out. No, not kind of, definitely weirded me out. Why? Because of the 40, I'd only heard of a handful. If they are so fucking big, why haven't I heard of them?

Then I realized that what they are "Superstars" of is pretty fucking stupid. With the exception of the OK Go treadmill video (which I had heard of, and dug the song), most people were just sort of dumb ass little viral YouTube clip, which contained some sort of mystery charm. Yet they are granted Superstar status by the fact that millions of people have watched their clip, most of which contained very much less setup than the Mentos Diet Coke guys (which I've seen but only once).

Equally weird, was that as VH1 interviewed these Superstars (who the fuck is Tia Tiquilla? Do I care enough to even spell her name right?), who all know of their brethren Superstars and are expected to comment on them.

It was a Circle Jerk of enormous proportions, on that speaks of fame as being far less than 15 minutes, as striking anyone, anywhere, at any time of a quality that falls far, far FAR short of comedic standards that are required to make me laugh or even gain my attention. Lip Synchers, Baby Dancers, Bogus Cam Girls, Alien-looking Hoochies, Old Man Ranters, Child Guidos and the rest you losers, get the fuck out.

Bring me some quality entertainment. I really haven't got all fucking day.

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