Sunday, March 19, 2006

Ask Cap'n Marrrrk Part V: Q & A With the Cap'n

I was complaining about my lack of questions for my feature Ask Cap'n Marrrrrkā„¢ to my friend Khena today when she came over to watch a movie, and she told me she had been meaning to ask me a question so we had an offline round table discussion with Alessandra and Khena's boyfriend Vivek.

K: What is the deal with about that thing at the center of the Earth.

CM: That's easy. Mole People. No molten core down there, it's the Mole People who keep the Earth turning. In fact, when people disappear up here, go missing, it's because they are captured and enslaved by the Mole People to keep the Earth going.

K: Why don't they do it themselves?

CM: Well they used to, up until the discovery of electricity. I mean they had natural gas and such, and light, but with the discovery of electricity, they decided they wanted a life of leisure, computers and ipods and such, so they kidnapped us surfacers.

In fact, nobody turns any cranks or anything, everyone runs around the circumference of the Earth at the Equator, like the inside of a giant wheel.

K: You know when I was a kid I thought my walking around helped turn the Earth.

CM: Nice, but sorry, not true. It's all Mole People.

Alessandra: You should have watched that comet show on Discovery they had some cool animations about what scientists thought wsa at the center of the earth.

CM: Scientists don't really know. It's just an estimate.

K: Can the Mole People see down there?

A: They only have one eye.

CM: No they have depth perception.

A: They wear a glass that lets them see in 3d.

K, Weird optics.

CM: Hey, who's the expert here? Mole People have 2 eyes, and they have light, and they secretly keep the Earth circling.

K: Thanks Cap'n Marrrrk for enlightening me about the nature of the Earth's Core.

[later answered only online]

Thanks Khena for asking the question. I know you are too busy working on Ph. D. in Psychology to have proper grasp of Geobiology. Feel free to ask me anything, even things about Psych. I know a lot. For example did you know there is Sigmund Freud in Museum in Vienna. It's filled with exhibits of penises and cigars. Some are cigars that are penises, some are penises that are cigars, some are cigars that are only cigars, and penises which are only penises, unless they are cigars. They also have an Oedipal/Electra Simulator, for your viewing pleasure.

Remember I'll take all questions at capnmarrrrk@yahoo.com

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